Tag Archives: zombie apocalypse

WZMB Under Siege by Ninja Zombies?!

Heyyy, Jazz Fans! Jimmy Rudolph here! I know I’m supposed to lay down some smooth jazz on you right now, but I can’t stop screaming! WZMB is under siege by ninja zombies! I kid you not! As sure as there are zombies, there are ninja zombies, and as sure as there are ninja zombies, there are a whole squad of ninja zombies right outside my sound proof door. I know, I know, I’ve said this before when I wanted to get on New York 1, but this time I mean it! Zombies with veils and sais doing triple somersaults over the bodies of the dead WZMB security team. I suppose we’ll have to pay for those funerals. But at least we’ll have to pay for mine. Still don’t believe me? Click the video below and see for yourself!

It all started out so beautifully! I had uncovered rumors and innuendo regarding Trocador and the new Bar Code Zombies, and to verify, I bravely sent Melissa into harm’s way to get the substantiating documents. (I sent Craig the intern in, too, but that wasn’t bravery, that was common sense.) And I had those rotten bastards that sponsor the show right where I wanted them. But now, in a horrific turn of events, the zombie ninjas have me just where they want me– cowering in my studio, hoping like hell that those sais can either pick locks or gut jazz DJs, but they can’t do both. I can’t look. And if you can’t look either, jazz fans, here’s an all-radio version of the horrific gore!

I wonder what Miles Davis felt in his last few moments before the zombies got him. Oh, you’re telling me the zombies didn’t get him? That he just looks that way?! I guess you’re just trying to cheer me up, fans, but there’s no point. Even if I survive, who’s going to clean up the mess out there? I really wish J-Bo were here right now. She could always make me laugh. Plus, she kills zombies. And good with a mop, let’s not forget that…

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Tame Zombies! Ninja Zombies! WZMB Zombie Radio Show Ep. 48! “After the Non-Lovin’…”

Can you tame ninja zombies? Can you ninja-fy tame zombies? Find out in this week’s episode of Zombie Radio Show, with Jazz-meister Jimmy Rudolph! In this week’s fester; Jimmy is certain it’s just stress and doesn’t want to talk about it! Trocador unveils the next generation in Bar Code Zombies; Can we please change the subject?! And J-Bo takes out Riker’s! With featured jazz artist Roy Eldridge! Zombie Radio Show– Radio you can See! Brought to you by Phantom at the Gershwin Theater!

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Jazz DJ Jimmy Rudolph of WZMB Zombie Radio Show

Jimmy Rudolph wants to know... Where have you been? It's 3 am!

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Happy Friday the 13th from WZMB!

Happy Friday the 13th, Jazz Fans!

Y’know, Friday the 13th used to be considered an unlucky day. People avoided walking under ladders, petting black cats, or stepping in front of out-of-control buses, doing their best to avoid misfortune. How things have changed. Every day is unlucky with zombies roaming the streets, and though Friday the 13th is no different, it’s certainly no worse.

Or is it?

Looks like the fates that used to play so capriciously with us are now turning their random mirth upon the brain eaters. Check out this video just submitted from the Zombie Watchers club, the group of legless fanatics which was famously ridiculed for believing in the existence of zombies before the Zombie Apocalypse, which now spends all it’s resources saying “We tode you os!” (Not the best spellers.) We see a pretty moldy zombie, walking on terrain that looks very much like a kitchen table, so we assume the video came from one of Mexico’s famous mesas. No matter its origin, it’s good to remember on Friday the 13th that zombies can have bad days, too. Enjoy!

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Happy Veteran’s Day from Jimmy Rudolph and WZMB!

Happy Veteran’s Day, Jazz Fans! I hope you’ll take a moment to think kindly of our brave men and women who fought for our liberty.

This is Jimmy Rudolph from WZMB Zombie Radio Show. Now, fans, I never served in the military. I was exempted from service by my Congressman. But I did contribute to his war chest. And I like to think that makes me a veteran, in some small way. And even though I never toted a gun or heard a shot fired in anger, I’ve had guns toted for me, and have heard shots fired in mortal terror at oncoming zombies. And if I’ve never been shipped off to face death in foreign lands, I’ve still managed to have sex with squalid hookers from foreign lands. What I’m saying is, I stand by the veterans, or at least cower behind them.

In NYC, we have our Veteran’s Day Parade down 5th Ave. People don’t go to the parade like they used to since the zombie apocalypse. But the City Council has issued new safeguards for the participants, including a minimum speed of 45 mph, (I didn’t know those little Rotary cars could go that fast!), with emergency funding for piano razor wire and souvenir machetes that will be given to everyone that passes a sobriety test. The Queens Slapshots Kill Squad will be on hand performing maneuvers, making the event all the safer. I want to urge my fellow New Yorkers to go and wave at the Veterans as they speed by. The Veterans won’t wave back, as they need both hands on the wheel, but they’ll appreciate the gesture.

Finally, Jazz Fans, even though the national guard has steadfastly refused deployment to New York City, preferring tours of Afghanistan to fighting the urban zombie, we still find an occasional Zombie In Uniform on the street. Most days, you would be urged to lop the zombie’s head off, but for today, just this day, sheathe that machete, look that ZIU in the eye, and give it a heartfelt “Thank you”, before running in terror.

Somewhere, deep inside, he’ll be grateful for the recognition, as well as hungry for your brains.

Veteran's Day Zombie

Kickin' Ass, Takin' Brains

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